If you encountered beings from another world and they asked you to explain to them the concept of love, how would you go about it? This small, four letter word has been the subject of many a poem, song, painting and all sorts of work of art. They all set out to capture the essence of love, some succeeded better then others, but none have come even close to expressing the full extent of this all encompassing concept. Is it a feeling? Is it just a chemical reaction? Is it something that is a basic instinct for a human being to seek out and wanting to give? There is something ancient, archetypal yet very basic about love; basic because inherently everyone is capable of not only giving it but receiving it as well.
Are there different kinds of love? Is a mother's love for her child much different in essence from someone's love for a brother, friends, a pet or your country? If it is, what is it that makes it different? The love is the same, only the object of love is different. Is there anything quantifiable that will make the essence of love different?
Regardless of the object of our love, putting into words why we love someone can be just as hard as explaining the concept itself. I cannot explain why I love my children or husband or my friends. I can put into words the things I love about them but those are not exclusive. If I say I love my son because he has a great sense of humour and is a bright child or my daughter because she's the warmest human being I have ever met, I would be implying that excluding those qualities there is nothing about them that is worth the affection, that without those attributes my love for them would be conditional.
Can I say to my husband, "I love you when you understand me" and not make him feel like he has to understand me continuously to keep acquiring my love? Putting conditions such as these on our relationships with anyone can only mean one thing: the lack of understanding on what love truly is.
Love just simply is. It is not "more" or "less". It just is. It is without conditions, without boundaries, without reason or explanation. When it is given, it must be given freely without any reservation, fine print, disclaimer or special clause, otherwise it is not love. Unconditional is implied in the word "love" itself. It either is unconditional and therefore it is love, or it is burdened with conditions that make it devoid of it. When we use the expression "unconditional love", the word "unconditional" is therefore redundant.
It is when we realise this and are able to dispense our love freely like this is when we will start to see it being present in out lives and given to us as well. This kind of love we need to discover towards ourselves also. Letting go of negative self-talk, forgiving ourselves for past mistakes and discard any judgement we have towards ourselves.
I would be happy if I could loose some weight. I would be content if I had a better job. I would be happy with myself if I were just a bit more outgoing. The list goes on. Putting such provisions on our own happiness just ensures that this self-defeating cycle never ends. There will always be something that we can put as a prerequisite to our own happiness and it is usually something we don't like about ourselves.
We need to realise that the perfection of the human condition ironically comes from being quite imperfect. That is what makes us human. Our flaws allow us to fully experience what it is like to live a human life. That is not to say that we should not strive for bettering ourselves constantly. It just means that instead of using our flaws as excuses to fabricate conditions for loving ourselves we can embrace them and build them into our human lives and love ourselves the way we are: warts and all.
Saturday 26 June 2010
Thursday 17 June 2010
Forgive for Freedom
By Andrea Kaldy
To forgive someone who has wronged us can be one of the hardest things anyone can do in life. According to what had transpired we choose our responses. One cannot put a measure on any particular experience, our perception determines our reality. Each of us have a different degree of awareness and live through our experiences according to our perception. When something happens that hurts us we have an option to let it go straight away, dwell on it only for a while or hold onto it permanently.
While the first two options give us a chance to truly move on with our lives, the last one is the one that puts us into a real prison. While holding onto the hurt we are also chaining that person to ourselves, therefore feeding even more energy into the past. This becomes a vicious circle. Let's face the truth, it is easier to have someone to put the blame on, someone we can make responsible for all our misery, than to actually face the facts of what has happened and accept that we were part of it, however small a part that may have been. It is easier to buy into the victim's role and coerce sympathy from our friends over and over while reliving the past. This again channels energy into it, and thus keeping up the cycle, creating fear.
Living in fear puts its stamp on our lives without us even noticing it. We make decisions based on that even subconsciously, restricting ourselves and excluding ourselves. Is this really a good base for living our lives to the fullest? I think, not. Next time you listen to yourself pass on an opportunity presented to you, stop for a moment and think about why. You will notice that at the root of that decision to decline an opportunity there is fear.
Forgiveness is a state of being, not an act. You may say to a person that you forgive them for their transgressions but what happens when the memories of those transgressions will come back to you? You will remind yourself that you have let that go from your life. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone what they have done. It means that you are ready to release it from your life and that will allow them to do the same.
It is natural to feel anger, sadness, disappointment and all those feelings. Honour yourself by acknowledging those feelings. You are entitled to them. It is through forgiveness that we find liberation from those feelings. It is one of the hardest things to do at first but as you feel the freedom it gives you, you will realise that this is how you may stop the spiral and regain control.
There are many different ways people may exercise forgiveness. Here are two simple rituals that will help you to get release.
Gather a few flat stones or pieces of tree bark. Use a water soluble pen or a pencil to write on them the name of the person you wish to offer forgiveness to and why. Find a body of water near you. If this body of water has a bridge, it's even better. Walk to the middle of the bridge on the footpath and state that your intention is to forgive that person for what they have done to you. You may even wish to say the words out loud. Then let the stones or bark fall into the water and state that you are now ready to release this from your life. Again, you may speak those words out loud. This issue will now truly become "water under the bridge" as the old saying goes. Please make sure you observe adequate safety.
Get yourself into a comfortable position, ready for meditation. Use a rose quartz crystal if you wish. Take three deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Imagine a golden circle around you on the ground and light pink mist rising up and slowly covering you up to the top of your head. See the person in question appearing in front of you slowly from the mist. You give them permission to step into your circle. Now state the issue that hurt you and you want to forgive them for. Visualise them taking your words in and understanding them. Then state your intention of letting this go out of your life and give them permission to do the same and then let them step out of your circle. Let the mist slowly dissipate back into the earth and undo the golden circle.
Remember, the state of forgiving brings true freedom. Who do you need to forgive today?
Sunday 13 June 2010
Life Changing Messages
By Gordon Smith, published by Hay House
Gordon Smith doesn’t talk about death as if it were the most tragic event that can happen to anyone. One of his favourite sayings is, “You cannot die for the life of you.” In this book he proves just that.
His simple story telling style is helping to take away some of the myths surrounding death and the way he connects people to their loved ones cannot be more grounded.
He is one of the few prominent mediums that dispel any mystery about the work of a medium and he is not shy about publishing his thoughts about the ones who try to convince the public that Mediumship work is only for a selected “special” few.
Read this book if you want to see how a medium’s work is about much more than just spitting out information about our loved ones who have passed.
By Gordon Smith, published by Hay House
Gordon Smith doesn’t talk about death as if it were the most tragic event that can happen to anyone. One of his favourite sayings is, “You cannot die for the life of you.” In this book he proves just that.
His simple story telling style is helping to take away some of the myths surrounding death and the way he connects people to their loved ones cannot be more grounded.
He is one of the few prominent mediums that dispel any mystery about the work of a medium and he is not shy about publishing his thoughts about the ones who try to convince the public that Mediumship work is only for a selected “special” few.
Read this book if you want to see how a medium’s work is about much more than just spitting out information about our loved ones who have passed.
Sunday 6 June 2010
How To Make The Most Of a Reading
If you've never had a reading before or had one but are less than satisfied, here are some ideas to help you understand how the process works and what your part is in it.
For psychic readings Some people work with Tarot cards, a piece of jewellery or even holding the hand of the person they are reading for. These are all accepted methods of psychic work.
A psychic reading involves the reader hooking into the sitter’s energy and vibes. If the sitter is holding back, the reader may have some difficulty in getting the information. You can help the reader by having an open mind and attitude towards them.
Tarot cards or objects from the sitter can help the reader to tap into the energy visually.
It takes a little while sometimes to get into the energies. You can help the reader by acknowledging the information that is correct and advising when the information is off the mark and not relating to you.
Please note that psychics are not all knowing. It is easy to get into the mindset that we need a third person to validate our decisions and tell us that what we are doing is OK.
Psychic readings are there for you to make informed decision, not for the psychic to make your decisions for you. You have the power to take your life in a direction that you feel is the best for you.
For psychic readings Some people work with Tarot cards, a piece of jewellery or even holding the hand of the person they are reading for. These are all accepted methods of psychic work.
A psychic reading involves the reader hooking into the sitter’s energy and vibes. If the sitter is holding back, the reader may have some difficulty in getting the information. You can help the reader by having an open mind and attitude towards them.
Tarot cards or objects from the sitter can help the reader to tap into the energy visually.
It takes a little while sometimes to get into the energies. You can help the reader by acknowledging the information that is correct and advising when the information is off the mark and not relating to you.
Please note that psychics are not all knowing. It is easy to get into the mindset that we need a third person to validate our decisions and tell us that what we are doing is OK.
Psychic readings are there for you to make informed decision, not for the psychic to make your decisions for you. You have the power to take your life in a direction that you feel is the best for you.
For Medium readings
It always helps to think of the person you wish to contact from the other side. Although sometimes Spirit have other ideas and someone else may come through, don’t be disheartened, they may be helping your loved one out just to get started. It may also be a case of whose energy is stronger on the other side. Some spirits can dominate a reading until they have their say. It is up to the medium to move those along, so others can get a forum as well.
Sometimes sitters can be so fixated on a specific issue or person that it will make it difficult to acknowledge any other information that may come through. Please keep an open mind.
Spirit don’t always give us the information that we want to hear, rather the information that we need to hear. Don’t shoot the messenger, in this case the medium, if you don’t hear what you want to hear.
For some spirits the first time contact may be a little difficult. As we need to raise our vibration to be able to communicate with them, they need to lower their vibration to do the same. It takes practice for us to achieve that state, they are no different.
Remember, the medium is there to help you connect with your loved ones, the psychic is there to also give you valuable information. They are not there to prove their skills to you. You may disregard their messages or you may choose to walk out the door and armed with the knowledge and wisdom of the reading make the most of it. It is your choice.
Sometimes sitters can be so fixated on a specific issue or person that it will make it difficult to acknowledge any other information that may come through. Please keep an open mind.
Spirit don’t always give us the information that we want to hear, rather the information that we need to hear. Don’t shoot the messenger, in this case the medium, if you don’t hear what you want to hear.
For some spirits the first time contact may be a little difficult. As we need to raise our vibration to be able to communicate with them, they need to lower their vibration to do the same. It takes practice for us to achieve that state, they are no different.
Remember, the medium is there to help you connect with your loved ones, the psychic is there to also give you valuable information. They are not there to prove their skills to you. You may disregard their messages or you may choose to walk out the door and armed with the knowledge and wisdom of the reading make the most of it. It is your choice.
If you have any questions regarding the above, please leave a comment and I will attempt to respond to the best of my ability.
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