Not a New Year Resolution

Reading posts on Facebook and other social media, I feel inundated with advice on how to improve my life, get a new start, get balanced, manifest my desire, achieve my goals etc. It's as if there would be nothing more important this year than to work my sizeable behind off trying to get my physical and spiritual self into shape.

I know, I am one of those people who can only handle so much of bodily and mental punishment and discipline before I cave in and sacrifice myself on the altar of junk food and lying in front of the telly like a beached whale - not that I am as big as a whale (for the record). And here out comes the rebel in me and I say with complete peace of mind and total complacency: bring on the days when I can claim with absolute honesty that all I want is all the easy things. I want take away for dinner, I'm fine not doing the house work, I can handle the washing piling up and the lawn not mowed.

As the dust gathering on the mantle of the fireplace shows, I am well on my way. And I am! This is the utter truth! I am well on my way to living a balanced, stress free life. So what if the floor is not wiped this week? Or what about the garden that needs a good pruning because it looks like some primeval forest with who knows what growing in it. (I swear I can hear dinosaur sounds coming from it.)

It is now that I have let go of all that I HAVE TO do is that I find time for all that I WANT TO do. And that makes me look at all my responsibilities in a different light. I no longer cringe at the thought of all the tasks that make up my everyday life. I no longer see them as a chore. I feel empowered rather than being driven by some sort of urge to make it through the week and crashland on the weekend. There is no more guilt! There is only freedom!

This is the power in your mundane everyday. Your life isn't going to turn upside down.  Things will still get done. It is your attitude towards those mundane things that will change. They are going to transform into something that you can even enjoy, knowing that you have the power to put them off when needed and invest yourself into YOURSELF.

I always teach my kids to work smarter rather than harder. On face value this almost seems lazy and even condescending. It certainly doesn't mean to use dishonesty. It just means that if there is a way to make something easier, do it! Simplify your life and let go of the guilt for your own success over others'. Accept all that is coming to you, whether it be a lesson or a blessing. Step into your power! IT'S YOURS! TAKE IT!

Are You An Emotional Hoarder?

By Andrea Kaldy


We all reach a stage in our life when stagnation sets in and we don't feel that we area moving anywhere. In a way we are like sharks: we need to be mobile, otherwise we'll wither away. One thing that keeps us from moving forward is the weight of negative experiences we've collected over the years. Here you can find out in just a few minutes whether you are in that place in your life right now. Just circle the answer that is closest to where you are in your life right now.

1    When something doesn't go the way you'd expected, do you say:

A: Why does this always keep happening to me?

B: Oh well, nothing new!

C: Nevermind, I'll get it right next time!

2    Do you find yourself pondering on memories and saying:

A: I had bad things happen to me in my life previously and that is why I can't achieve things now.

B: I wish I could go back and do it again differently.

C: Thinking about only the good old times!

3    Do you turn down opportunities for new experiences?

A: Constantly

B: Sometimes

C: I never turn down an opportunity.

4    Do you wonder about unresolved issues:

A: and make up different scenarios on how you would have liked for things to play out?

B: and try not to linger too long, what's past is past?

C: and think how much you've learnt from them.

5    Do you find that when it comes to an argument with someone you:

A: bring up past actions by that person from a long time ago that person does not even remember?

B: feel some emotion that is under the surface is resurfacing?

C: will deal with only the issue at hand without bringing up the past.

If your answers are mostly "A" then it seems like you have a fair amount of emotional baggage you're carrying. Holding onto and constantly referring to past hurts is an excuse for us not to move forward. Moving does contain some risks and it can be daunting at first, but if you want to get out of the stagnant state you're in, you may want to consider getting rid of all the negativity you've collected over time. It may weigh on you, not just mentally or spiritually but physically as well

If your answers are mostly "B" then you have some awareness on what effect holding onto emotional baggage can have on your well being today. You may not know how to move on, but you have the willingness to end your hoarding and deal with your past issues and let them go once and for all. You realise the importance of letting go of the past and not let it keep you from living your dream.

If your answers are mostly "C" then you're well on your way to emotional liberation. You look at the past as something to learn from, honour and then let go. You recognise it is not to be feared and therefore it looses its hold on you. You have reached a stage of "lightenment" and you may feel that you want to share your experience with the world at large.

The True Possession of Knowledge

"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour."

William Blake - Auguries of Innocence

Mankind has, since the birth of our consciousness, wanted to be able to predict the future.  Whether the reason was preparation or prevention, a great amount of wealth was spent on consulting Oracles for the outcomes of battles, choosing kings and even determine the fate of empires the world around. From the Oracles of Delphi to the shamans of ancient tribes, different methods, sometimes quite barbaric, were used to divine answers to questions that would change the course of history.

I always wondered about this hunger for fore-knowledge. Would things be any different today had some of the predictions had different results? How accurate are predictions and what influence, if any, does the person giving the prediction has on the outcome? With so many tools now, much more civilised if I might say, then many of the ones used by our ancestors, is predicting the future really such a value as it was when conquerors used them to make life and death decisions?

I don't believe the your future is predetermined. I feel that would make the notion of karma, something I firmly believe in, quite redundant. There are challenges that you will need to pass within your lifetime, and they will be brought to you depending on what path you choose and those challenges change as you  make your choices. If you keep avoiding making choices then one day you may very well find yourself not having a choice to make, being thrust into the storm to fend for yourself as best you can. The universe has a way of subtly letting us know what learning needs to take place and what path we will find it on. It is our choice to take it or not.

Many times I find myself being asked the same questions by clients. When will I get my finances sorted out? When will I find a mate? Will I get a new job? Again, a compulsive need to know what and when something is going to happen. Instead of learning the lesson in the current situation and allowing themselves to move on as the natural order of things, they want to know when that situation is going to be over or resolved.

It will be over and resolved when you learned the lesson that is in it. This is why we fall back into repeated negative patterns. We have not learned from them all that was the lesson or have not learned anything at all. Why am I in this situation again? Why does this keep happening to me? Familiar questions? Of course. These are the questions that need to be asked before the ones with the "when".

I would not be writing about this had I not gone through the same learning curve myself. I had a compulsion to want to know the future and had a miriad of "when" questions that were swirling in my mind constantly. I was so wrapped up in that, that I completely ignored the "why". I paid no attention to what the universe was telling me. Thinking back now, the path was clear cut with road signs all the way but I was too busy planning the trip to actually realise that I was going the wrong way or was not going anywhere at all.

It took my life to come to a tragic and screeching halt for me to realise that I had it all backwards. The true knowledge was never in the "when". It was in the lessons and the challenges and always has been. To recognise the opportunity for growth through the difficulties. To stop thinking about the imagined rewards that would wait for me on the other side and just immerse myself in the moment and be completely present. To absorb every single molecule of knowledge there is about the now. That is where the true power of knowledge is. Not in the knowing of where you're going but honouring where you have been.

If you truly wish to possess something or know something, be it a tangible thing or something intangible such as knowledge, you have to let go of it from the core of your being. If you don't, then your idea of the thing or your idea of possessing that it will be tainted by your perception of it, therefore cannot be what you truly wish to possess. It changes into something different, something that has the appearance of the thing you wanted but not the essence.


Only once we can truly let go of wanting to know the future will we possess the essence of it by living it.

The Monk

By Andrea Kaldy

He appears at the same time, early, every morning. I can see him from the platform while I am waiting for my train that takes me to work. He wears nothing but a bright orange sheath, tightly wrapped around him for warmth in the middle of winter. Nothing but a cotton sheath, not even shoes. His steps appear to be careful for his slowness, but I know that's not the reason. He simply has nowhere to rush off to while the buzz of a weekday morning is passing him by. He stops patiently in front of the local shop and reads the posters until the rolling door opens. This is around the time my train comes, so I never see what happens after, but I can guess.

The monk probably takes the donations given to him by the owners of the shop, who are Buddhists themselves, and carries his precious cargo back to his temple to his fellow monks. They rely on the charity and goodwill of the Buddhist community who more than willingly donate what they can to sustain them.

Why would someone choose to live in such heavy reliance on the charity of others? The thought enters my mind. I cannot imagine living on the edge of existence. I have a mortgage, a kid in private school, living standards, a job to go to, a car to maintain. All these, that occupy my mind on a daily basis, seemingly forming the foundations of my very existence. What would I do without my mobile phone, dishwasher, Foxtel or even just the steady fortnightly income that allows me to have those things? How essential these mundane objects have become in our daily lives, though if you really think about it, what do they give us beside convenience?

That makes me think...What would I really do if I had to give up those things and other comforts and live like a monk. For starters, I'd have a lot of free time, I think with a hint of sarcasm, and I surprise myself. I consider myself a deeply spiritual person, how can I then have that sort of judgement about someone choosing to dedicate their life to their religion? Here is the snag. To me religion is only the outward expression of one's faith. Daily rituals, words repeated, sometimes with little or no actual meaning to the person reciting them. Spirituality or faith on the other hand is about the processes that we have inside; our beliefs about ourselves and how we fit into the bigger scheme of things.

To Buddhists, it seems, that the rituals, the acts of faith cannot be performed without the inner spirit's total commitment. This is what the Monk is taking one step further, dedicating his life to the inner knowledge and the nurturing of the pure Spirit. Not just the Universal Spirit, but the one everyone has, whether they acknowledge it or not. He has the awareness and understanding that so many of us are ignorant to: he knows that if you don't nourish the inner Spirit first and strive for a higher understanding within you first, then what hope do we have trying to raise the awareness of the world to the Universal Spirit.

What is it that's stopping us from doing the same? The distractions of our daily lives to start with. What do you most look forward to when you have some free time for yourself? A lot of people, and I am guilty of that myself, just want to tune out, when you don't have to think of anything, do anything, just be. It sounds wonderful doesn't it? Playing solitaire on your computer, watch some mind-numbing TV reality show on Foxtel.

Is that it? I ask you then, what does that do to nourish your own Spirit? These area only simple examples but I see very little value in those things all of a sudden. I see them as distractions that tune out your brain, so you don't have to be anything else but a drone.

Is that what our Spirit really needs? Is that what you really want to be? A drone, who does not question their reality but accepts it as it is shrink wrapped and "tailored" to your needs by the people who decide what we need to wearing, eating, watching, doing?

I look at the Monk and see someone who creates his own reality. Not with the worldly objects he surrounds himself with, not with the constant need to be in contact with his outside world via email, mobile phone, Facebook, TV and those things. He does that by eliminating those very things that distract him from dealing with the only reality that exists, everything else is intangible, destroyable, subjective. He is nurturing the single thing, that due to its eternal nature, truly is Real. He is nurturing his inner Spirit.

Photo by Stephanie Zagalak

The Healers’ Craft

By Andrea Kaldy

Published in inSpirit Magazine Vol 3, Iss 1

From ancient times mankind had been using artistic impressions to manifest their desire. Think of the cave-paintings, crude fertility statues and other artefacts found all over the world. The main purpose for example for the paintings was to ensure a successful hunt, not just in the quantity of meat provided but also in the safety of the clan members' return.

In the event when someone in the tribe was not that lucky, they were buried with everyday objects representing a continuum from this world to the next. The fertility statues were used to bring abundance to the people and the land in the way of healthy crops, livestock and even human offspring.

Eventually these representations made their way into shamanic healing practices. Ancient shamans would make up figurines from various materials available and use them in their work as a tool to bring healing to the sick. They would utilise their knowledge of herbs and chants among other things to charge the doll for the appropriate purpose.

In modern times it's just as easy to make your own, should the need arise. In this article I am giving you some ideas on how to produce your very own healing doll, including tips on planning and carrying out a healing ritual.

When would I use a healing doll?

Healing dolls can be used for both physical and emotional healing. Make sure that you are clear on where the issue lies. You may make one for yourself, or a third person, although in that case you will need to ask that person for their permission, otherwise it may be seen as interference. I believe that firmly.

How do I get started?

Once you determined what it is you want to heal, you will need to plan what items you will need. You may take into consideration the person's condition and choose your ingredients accordingly. To start with, you will need some material to make the doll from. Choose that according to the person's gender and cut out the appropriate shape. To make it simple I just use the universally recognised shapes for restroom signs. Cut out two pieces that are large enough for you to handle easily from your chosen material. I prefer to use organic based material, such as cotton or linen.

Depending on what you are healing, gather the herbs and other material. I like using dried flowers and herbs and use a pestle and mortar to crush and blend them together. You will find a list of recommended ingredients at the end of this article.

Intent is very important, since you will need to infuse the doll with it. Be clear on what you want to achieve. Remember, if you can heal, you can also harm. You are making a healing doll, so the intent must always be to heal. I believe in the universal law that what you put out will return to you. You may wish to write down your intention, may even turn it into a short poem. Do as you feel inspired to do.

I've got all the ingredients, now what do I do?

Sew up the doll leaving a small part open where you can insert the stuffing. Use a mortar and pestle to combine your ingredients, keeping in mind the size of the doll. If you don't have a mortar and pestle, just use a mixing bowl and wooden spoon. While mixing and crushing the ingredients, hold the healing intention firmly in your mind, and repeat it like a chant until all the mixing is done. This is called charging.

Fill the doll with the mix and sew up the opening. Put identifying marks on the doll that are characteristic to the person the doll is being made for. You can draw on hair, birth marks, scars etc. You may even write the person's name or initials on the doll. You may keep chanting the words for your intention while you are doing all this.

Once the doll is finished you may give it to the person it was intended for and they will need to keep it close to them until recovery is complete. Do not discard the doll in the rubbish once the goal is achieved. The person may keep it safely tucked away indefinitely or they may find a suitable spot where they may bury it in the ground with care.

What can I use to make my healing doll?

Here is a list of things generally used in healing. By all means, this list is just an example and therefore incomplete. You may use only one, or a combination of these ingredients. You may also add your own touch if you feel like it.

Herbs and plants

Dried apple peel, cinnamon, ivy, marjoram, rosemary, mistletoe, carnations, lavender

Gems and crystals

Green jasper, rose quartz, sunstone, sea salt

Miscellaneous

Linen, cotton or other natural textile, coloured thread for sewing (usual healing colours are blue, white, gold, yellow), tissue paper (you may want to write your healing chant on this and insert it into the doll), essential oils (you may anoint the doll with it or mix it into the ingredients.

Remember, use this only for healing. The healing doll aids in the recovery of a person but does not replace appropriate medical diagnosis and care.

An Unconditional Love Redundant

If you encountered beings from another world and they asked you to explain to them the concept of love, how would you go about it? This small, four letter word has been the subject of many a poem, song, painting and all sorts of work of art. They all set out to capture the essence of love, some succeeded better then others, but none have come even close to expressing the full extent of this all encompassing concept. Is it a feeling? Is it just a chemical reaction? Is it something that is a basic instinct for a human being to seek out and wanting to give? There is something ancient, archetypal yet very basic about love; basic because inherently everyone is capable of not only giving it but receiving it as well.

Are there different kinds of love? Is a mother's love for her child much different in essence from someone's love for a brother, friends, a pet or your country? If it is, what is it that makes it different? The love is the same, only the object of love is different. Is there anything quantifiable that will make the essence of love different?

Regardless of the object of our love, putting into words why we love someone can be just as hard as explaining the concept itself. I cannot explain why I love my children or husband or my friends. I can put into words the things I love about them but those are not exclusive. If I say I love my son because he has a great sense of humour and is a bright child or my daughter because she's the warmest human being I have ever met, I would be implying that excluding those qualities there is nothing about them that is worth the affection, that without those attributes my love for them would be conditional.

Can I say to my husband, "I love you when you understand me" and not make him feel like he has to understand me continuously to keep acquiring my love? Putting conditions such as these on our relationships with anyone can only mean one thing: the lack of understanding on what love truly is.

Love just simply is. It is not "more" or "less". It just is. It is without conditions, without boundaries, without reason or explanation. When it is given, it must be given freely without any reservation, fine print, disclaimer or special clause, otherwise it is not love. Unconditional is implied in the word "love" itself. It either is unconditional and therefore it is love, or it is burdened with conditions that make it devoid of it. When we use the expression "unconditional love", the word "unconditional" is therefore redundant.

It is when we realise this and are able to dispense our love freely like this is when we will start to see it being present in out lives and given to us as well. This kind of love we need to discover towards ourselves also. Letting go of negative self-talk, forgiving ourselves for past mistakes and discard any judgement we have towards ourselves.

I would be happy if I could loose some weight. I would be content if I had a better job. I would be happy with myself if I were just a bit more outgoing. The list goes on. Putting such provisions on our own happiness just ensures that this self-defeating cycle never ends. There will always be something that we can put as a prerequisite to our own happiness and it is usually something we don't like about ourselves.

We need to realise that the perfection of the human condition ironically comes from being quite imperfect. That is what makes us human. Our flaws allow us to fully experience what it is like to live a human life. That is not to say that we should not strive for bettering ourselves constantly. It just means that instead of using our flaws as excuses to fabricate conditions for loving ourselves we can embrace them and build them into our human lives and love ourselves the way we are: warts and all.

Forgive for Freedom

By Andrea Kaldy

 

To forgive someone who has wronged us can be one of the hardest things anyone can do in life. According to what had transpired we choose our responses. One cannot put a measure on any particular experience, our perception determines our reality. Each of us have a different degree of awareness and live through our experiences according to our perception. When something happens that hurts us we have an option to let it go straight away, dwell on it only for a while or hold onto it permanently.

While the first two options give us a chance to truly move on with our lives, the last one is the one that puts us into a real prison. While holding onto the hurt we are also chaining that person to ourselves, therefore feeding even more energy into the past. This becomes a vicious circle. Let's face the truth, it is easier to have someone to put the blame on, someone we can make responsible for all our misery, than to actually face the facts of what has happened and accept that we were part of it, however small a part that may have been. It is easier to buy into the victim's role and coerce sympathy from our friends over and over while reliving the past. This again channels energy into it, and thus keeping up the cycle, creating fear.

Living in fear puts its stamp on our lives without us even noticing it. We make decisions based on that even subconsciously, restricting ourselves and excluding ourselves. Is this really a good base for living our lives to the fullest? I think, not. Next time you listen to yourself pass on an opportunity presented to you, stop for a moment and think about why. You will notice that at the root of that decision to decline an opportunity there is fear.

Forgiveness is a state of being, not an act. You may say to a person that you forgive them for their transgressions but what happens when the memories of those transgressions will come back to you? You will remind yourself that you have let that go from your life. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone what they have done. It means that you are ready to release it from your life and that will allow them to do the same.

It is natural to feel anger, sadness, disappointment and all those feelings. Honour yourself by acknowledging those feelings. You are entitled to them. It is through forgiveness that we find liberation from those feelings. It is one of the hardest things to do at first but as you feel the freedom it gives you, you will realise that this is how you may stop the spiral and regain control.

There are many different ways people may exercise forgiveness. Here are two simple rituals that will help you to get release.

1. 
   
   Gather a few flat stones or pieces of tree bark. Use a water soluble pen or a pencil to write on them the name of the person you wish to offer forgiveness to and why. Find a body of water near you. If this body of water has a bridge, it's even better. Walk to the middle of the bridge on the footpath and state that your intention is to forgive that person for what they have done to you. You may even wish to say the words out loud. Then let the stones or bark fall into the water and state that you are now ready to release this from your life. Again, you may speak those words out loud. This issue will now truly become "water under the bridge" as the old saying goes. Please make sure you observe adequate safety.
2. 
   
   Get yourself into a comfortable position, ready for meditation. Use a rose quartz crystal if you wish. Take three deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Imagine a golden circle around you on the ground and light pink mist rising up and slowly covering you up to the top of your head. See the person in question appearing in front of you slowly from the mist. You give them permission to step into your circle. Now state the issue that hurt you and you want to forgive them for. Visualise them taking your words in and understanding them. Then state your intention of letting this go out of your life and give them permission to do the same and then let them step out of your circle. Let the mist slowly dissipate back into the earth and undo the golden circle.

 

Remember, the state of forgiving brings true freedom. Who do you need to forgive today?